I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
