somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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