Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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