I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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