I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
