? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
