He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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