I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
