Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
