apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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