The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
