you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
