Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Porn is love you can see.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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