Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Boobs are out for the taking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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