guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
