Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
