Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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