i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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