You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
