if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
