She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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