He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
