then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize