You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
