she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
