Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
