OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
