They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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