Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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