hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
