It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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