I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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