And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
