Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
