I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
