Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
do herpes really smell.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
