May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
