her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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