Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
