We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I forget how to act sober
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
