im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize