I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The Olympian is in my bed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
