i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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