how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize