He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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