is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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