Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
