I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize