at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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