Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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