New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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