you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
