do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
