So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize