:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
