so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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