That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
