like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
