Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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