Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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