My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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