the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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