whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
