Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
