Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
