I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
