he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
