I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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