We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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