She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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