yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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