she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
