There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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