That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There r osticjed everywhere
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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