i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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