i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
