do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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